The Story Continues...

Captain and Mr. Stark.

(via medieval-w)

(via weasley-is-our-timelord)

“I swear to god, Steve, I will drop the PASIV out of this fucking window if you don’t tell me RIGHT NOW why you thought taking this goddamn job was a good idea, what with Bucky running around our heads trying to shoot us out of our dreams.”

“Can’t you feel it, Clint? You’re antsy. We’re all antsy. We’ve been the best dreamshare team there is out there since Cobb’s disbanded, and we haven’t gone under in over a year.”

Avengers Inception AU → wherein Thor of Odin Corp. hires Steve Rogers’ elite dreamsharing team to perform inception on his brother, Loki, and a shade of their ex-resident thief Bucky (who was killed when the team’s last job went horribly wrong) tries his best to sabotage it.

Or: Steve extracts, Tony builds, Clint runs point, Natasha’s a master of impersonation, Bruce concocts, Thor’s a tourist, and things happen

(via hellotailor)

• Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
• Witness: "I only have one, you know."
• -----
• Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
• Witness: "By death."
• Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
• -----
• Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
• The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
• -----
• Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
• Witness: "July 15th."
• Lawyer: "What year?"
• Witness: "Every year."
• -----
• Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
• Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
• -----
• Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
• Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
• Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
• Witness: "Er...his face."
• -----
• Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
• Witness: "I forget."
• Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
• Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
• Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
• Witness: "Forty-five years."
• -----
• Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
• Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
• Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
• Witness: "My name is Susan."
• -----
• Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
• Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
• Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
• Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
• -----
• Lawyer: "What happened then?"
• Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
• Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
• Witness: "No."
• -----
• Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
• Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
• -----
• Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
• -----
• Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
• Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
• Witness: "That's me."
• Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
• Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
• Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
• Witness: "None."
• Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
• Witness: "Borofkin."
• Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
• Witness: "I can't remember."
• Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
• Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
• -----
• Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
• Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
• Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
• Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
• Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
• Witness: "No."
• -----
• Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
• Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
• -----
• Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
• Witness: "Yes sir."
• Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
• Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
• -----
• Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
• Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
• Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
• -----
• Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
• Witness: "I could see his head."
• Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
• Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
• -----
• Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
• Witness: "The victim lived."

toxicnotebook:

Some of these are mine and some of these were made by myfavoritedemons (I think?)

help help this is addicting

Overly Accepting Thor

(via schrodingershipster)

tasteslikecoconut:

twistedsickkkk:

thefingerfucker:

inspectahradio:

ankh-the-odd:

dasdeutschtard:

but-i-hear-the-voices-say:

castielleftthetardisat221b:

dragonsroar:

sly-nig:

zigazig-ah:

The Teletubbies unmasked 

EVERYTHING I HAD EVER EXPECTED OR HOPED FOR

I TOTALLY DISREGARDED THE FACT THAT THERE WERE PEOPLE IN THOSE COSTUMES

im not even fucking kidding i just

there were PEOPLE in there

oh my god

my entire life has been a lie

^

dude look at how fucking sassy Tinky Winky’s actor is. he’s like “bitch i’m fabulous and i still love my purse”

Oh jeez I don’t even know anythinhg anymore

Why did I always had this strange gut feeling that Po was Asian? Why?

oh my god

the guy that plays the green one is just like “I regret EVERY THING”

wut

wenchoftarth:

#SOMEONE GIVE HIM A BABY GOOD LORD

(via weasley-is-our-timelord)

(via undiscovered-and-hiding)

(via ashinan)

sdkay:

childhood

(via ironfries)

(via ashinan)

rogers-and-stark:

Avengers: Laundry Day by *frank-d

(via cap-ironman)

I was just licking a dribble of Diet Dr. Pepper off the side of the can (which had Hawkeye on it), and I was this close to saying to MY MOTHER,

“That is the closest I will ever come to licking Jeremy Renner.”

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

• Mom: why are you doing that?
• Me: Because Sherlock holmes did it.
• Mom: if Sherlock Holmes jumped off a buildin-
• Me: *gross sobbing*

Unintentional Tumblr hiatus. I’m dealing with health problems in the family, preparation for grad school, a grandmother that keeps lingering between life and death, and household responsibilities due to the aforementioned health problems.

Oh, and Teen Wolf. Or as I’m calling it: Oh Dear Goodness, Why? Why am I Reading 70k of Fic When I Haven’t Watched a Single Episode?

Going to sit in my corner and read.